Unexpected Memoirs

Living simply was my aim. Yes I have ambitions to achieve because for me it is worth it. Wants to pursue my promises I made after my surgery. Reach out through service was my biggest dream but turned out nothing. I felt disastrous, selfless and useless. I became sensitive that I used to cry alone. Even think of ending my life.

I knew it's wrong....God is the owner of our life and as long we are alive there are chances. Maybe it's not meant for me. There are things intended. I struggled for quiet sometimes questioning our creator. Why this happening to me? Why He gave me another more years when I am nothing. I even said if only I did not manifest my deformities before maybe nothing will change. Grateful to my mother who never give up she's always supporting me.

One of my plan before was to spread the good news or the gospel. To people who need to know about God.

Service is a great worth. It is a fulfilling job. You need patience, talents and most all love. Communication is one thing we can give service to our fellow beings. But sometimes we miss it. One thing I learned is to have a deeper understanding because each of us have different behavior.

Upon helping one of my friend my life changed a lot. Now I guessed it's so complicated. Yes, it's normal there are positive and negative results. I met different kinds of people of different countries. Lately I noticed I did it I already serving a mission. Imparting to them the truth. Well it's true it's difficult. Lots of challenges I faced. I even cried a loud because I don't want them to suffer.

At least out of this I gained extra knowledge and learned extra skills. I gained people who were supportive to us despite of races. But I don't know what's in me. Challenges.....yes I am a type who don't like guys who are aggressive. Since before I always evaded to mingle them. It's wrong in God's law. We are made equal. We have the duty to guide them.

A lad maybe we knew each other before we came here on earth. I kept on thinking what's in me? Despite of troubles and even ignored him in my list still he keeps on going back. I shed many tears. I don't know? Maybe he's one of my mission here to uplift and bring up towards perfection. Before I didn't mind those type but now I learned. Every time I look around the world my heart grieve. I even decided to quit to free from hassle but I was stopped because I knew they need me. I knew God is there. He will help me. Indeed I could conclude life is full of mysteries.