Online Madness

"Love comes in different situation."

Falling in love is a matter of choice. Whether you are young or old and rich or poor.

Now a days technology is rampant. People uses telephones, mobile phones and computers just to find their partner.

When I was young I was close to older guys and considered them as my brothers. As the days go by when I reached 17, things changed I felt awkward to mingle guys. Every time I met them I hid or pretend as if I never saw them. I could still remember one of my high school classmate told that why I am unfriendly to him. Yes, I have but they were gays. I even not close to my father and brother. I don't know why I am like this.

Well, for me life is like this. Every time someone would court I would cry, run or even hid to the point one of classmate in college who was one of my close friend advised me. She said I must be matured enough and act as a lady not as a kid. I always bare in mind not to accept any to be my boyfriend. We even had an agreement with my close friends if ever I get married I will pay 10,000 Thousand Pesos each.

There are three things I considered not to engage in a relationship:

• I don't want that the guy will be affected of my health condition and suffer.
• I don't want that if ever I get married and have children they too will suffer.
• I don't want to cry and suffer. As what I observed mostly are unfaithful.

Until one time one of my friend asked me a favor to learn chatting just to help her find a partner. At first I felt reluctant because I knew that many are foolish most especially we don't know the person. We can only communicate using computers. But she keeps on convincing me because she was then 53 still single. I even told her I don't know how.

It was March, 2009 we were having a gathering together with our church friends in our place. One of my female friend taught me how. So after awhile I started chatting using my friend's ID. Yes, It's true I met none sense maybe because of the information that my friend was a single mom.

Out of curiosity too I used my own Id and identity to find a partner for her. Yes, at last I found a good guy. He was 32, humble and respectful. I enjoyed a lot of communicating with him everyday, whole day and night. We exchanged ideas and informations. We even agreed that just as friends only. Funny to say I chat just for my friend but it ended for me.

I don't know why It happened and what he's doing why every time I close and open my eyes I can see his face smiling in front of me. I even felt as if I'm flying and nervous. That time I didn't have the feeling for him because I am afraid that he's a foreigner and we only communicate through chatting. I even asked guidance from God, my mom and to my close friend. I don't know why I fall for him when as what I said I am allergic to guys. Maybe it's because I found the attitude I like to a certain guy.

Life is full of mysteries I learn to love him and until now he's still in my heart and I must move on.

After several months of waiting because he said he would go to Denmark to find a greener pasture and he said maybe when he's there we can't communicate just the way we did. I keep on waiting and even there were guys courted I never accepted them. Luckily through the help of the gospel I have and the support of my mom I conditioned myself that I must be ready to accept whatever happen. If were meant to be then will end up together. Sadly he came back and told me that "sorry I was lonely and I need someone." He told he was a married guy but never with his wife. Yes, it's painful because I learned to love him even just in net. Now I can say that since we are humans we can't evade to fall for someone. One of my friend said if we don't feel in love we are abnormal.