Childhood Rhapsody

I may not as other kids grew strong and full of enthusiastic memories. Used to stay at home playing alone. Love to emote as if I am a script writer, director and and actress. If you can't understand what I am doing you could say I'm a freak talking by myself. Whenever school days all my classmates were playing games but me behind watching.

But sometimes neighbors will come in the house for me to join. Or even in school they cheered me up. I don't know but I love to be alone. Anyway it's me all I want is be myself. Well sometimes I joined but for short moment. So that is why I don't have knowledge pertaining to sports.

I love also doing some experiments like cooking and baking. I want to create recipes of my own. Yet cos of curiosity one time I baked a bread without looking proper measurements it turned out like a stone. Hard to break into pieces hahahahahaha. I guess it last for many days but worth it at least of my young age I made a bread.

Fashion was my aimed I wished to be a ramp model. I used to draw different kinds of clothing then imagining how do I look? It was my fondest dream. Walking down the aisles with people around. But since I knew about "Law of Chastity I declined. Knowing some cuts alluring in the eyes. Maybe it was my fondest desire because up to now whenever I passed boutiques my heart glows.

So be it I must accept the reality that never be happened. Now enjoying and observing the heat of the sun what will be. Different beings have different qualities, identities and attributes. Much important we have talents to share.

Forsake and Forgive

2 Corithians 2:4

For out of much affliction and anguish of heart I wrote unto you with many tears; not that ye should be grieved, but that ye might know the love which I have more abundantly unto you.

Forget or forsake or forgive? This is my usual question whenever I am down.

In every instances we face lots of challenges. We succumb every persecutions. But sometimes we felt it's over. Need space to live normally.

I don't know but I kept on telling myself even before to wake up and be alert but still I never learned my passed. I knew I am weak I easily fall down. Mistakes mistakes.......It's time to wake up. I must move on to have a peaceful mind. Leave those worries. Associates every positive aspects. Well, I knew it will end.

Our world now is wicked we seldom view the real intent of a person. We need several times to tango just to see who really is. In fact we cannot praise no one. We give our best because we love them. But unluckily it's not appreciable to them. We even take risks just to save them from bondage.

Yes, agency is there but what is the use if we relied on evil things. Path is wide going to darkness. There are no limitations. Enjoyments anywhere around. Upon seeing those my heart grieved. I can't control my tears. Worried and I wanted to tremble. Yet somehow there is still a chance. Hoping it is not too late.

I knew we need to forgive those who trespassed, persecute and despised us. But we tend to say it's difficult. I felt so depressed and wanted to cry aloud. I wanted to stay away from anyone. Why, what's wrong with me? Did I've done wrong? I did my best I wanted them to be save.

Since we have our own wisdom I could say move on and forget ill feelings. Life is like that. I must be on my own. For if we plant good deeds we can reap good harvest.

Mother's Pride

"Each one of us is peculiar we have different capabilities and style. We were blessed with talents. No one in this world is born barren."

Every time I saw a cute baby I felt excited and can't control my emotions. I wanted to cuddle and prick his sensitive skin. I wanted to listen his murmuring words. For me it can satisfy myself. It can loosen my sadness.

In the eyes of our creator they are pure and innocent. To mothers it is a priceless gift. At their early stage they have talents to show. The so called "Great Imitator." Whatever things you taught they can interact. They can be easily manipulated or trained. As long you give them the right attention you'll reap a blessing.

Even you can't understand their language right away but still we can feel their love towards us. Their words are precious. Like this cute baby I was so amazed seeing him dancing and talking. He's 1 year 4 months and 13 days old.

Confessing My Deepest Agony

Take me anything, everything.

Forsake me if you want.

Treat as if I am nothing,

But I am begging please leave him.

You knew I have no one.

Except the love I have with.

A guy who is dear to me.

To complete my emptiness.

If you insist of owning him.

My heart will swell.

Please let me be with.

For without him I may not leave…….

Pardon my sadness.

Compared I have no one.

Let me annoyed my freedom.

To be love with someone dear.

Stretching Boundaries

Sometimes I felt empty and nothing. Knowing myself I had self-pity I cannot get over the past. Even think I am useless.

To some they think I am strong and brilliant because I have the capacity to convey others to change. I am there to cherish, uphold, uplift and awaken their wounded heart. But the fact I am so weak there is a tendency to feel insecure. I often asked why me? Then my mom would tell, it is one way wherein I can combat my negative vibes. It can help strengthen my soul.

Due to my health deficiency many worries could come into my mind. Afraid of what life can have. I tend to ran away. Hiding from from anybody.

When I was in my teenage years I had a classmate. Like me had self-pity. She would always said she was ugly, short and dim. Some of my classmates would bullied her. Of course I must rescue her. Luckily they would listen to me.

I don't know what is really in me? Why some would say I am blessed? Why those classmates of mine listened? When compared to them I am nothing. They have the brain but why they depend when we have some assignments and projects?

Up to now there is still someone would hearken. One time he said he don't want to lose me because I am the one could strengthen. I even come in conclusion to stop because I am only pretending. I have also many weaknesses. I have slow temper that could yelled and mocked people who disputed me.

It's so challenging seeing yourself weak and there you are doing your tasks. It's difficult the fact now a days many would take for granted of your endeavor. Yea I know I need to be strong to pursue my mission. I need to stretch my patience to reach out.