Reminiscing my younger days quite funny. Infatuation when I was 5 years old. Every time my grandmother came I stayed with my aunt’s home. They owned a bakery. Since I have the eagerness to learn cooking and baking everyday I used to watch and ask their bakers. I tried also accepting orders from the customers.
One day a college guy who happened a classmate of my another auntie dropped by to eat his snack. I felt so curious to see him and upon seeing his face I was blushing. I even ran to the maids room to use their make-up just to get the guys attention. Funny funny but that was me. Luckily the guy did understand me.
Years passed I got again infatuated to one of my playmate. Actually at first nothing but due to one of my friend my feelings developed. We even considered ourselves as boyfriend and girlfriend. We’re so close to each other. We even had a lovers quarrel I got jealous to one of his friend. Until they transferred to another place. Maybe because it’s only an infatuation I didn’t feel hurt of losing him. Sometimes I could still remember and even told my friends about him.
Another guy came along I was 13 years old and he’s older approximately for 3 years. Anyway during that time mind was set to be a little matured. My attitudes changed. I even quite reluctant to mingle guys. Since his sister and brother-in law like me to be his future partner they made a way wherein my heart will change. To make the story short PUPPY LOVE.
Things really changed when I was diagnosed having an anomally I decided to close and lock my heart. To be included what I observed to some relationships. I don’t know what is really be why it happened? One of my friend asked me to search a guy for her through chatting. At first I rejected knowing what will come out. Beside I knew lots of foolishness were there.
Finally I was convinced. I failed to find someone using her ID. Out of curiosity too I used mine. I met an Indian guy. He’s nice and respectful. Before hand I didn’t like Indians it’s because of their looks. Everyday we chat and getting to know more. I even asked help to find a guy for my friend. We agreed not to go beyond. I don’t know what is in me when he later offered his love. I felt reluctant but accepted.
I couldn’t expect by using the latest technology a guy opened my feelings. As if I am a kid I couldn’t explain what I felt inside. It seems I am flying and someone pulled me up. My heartbeats ran faster and trembling. There were times tears comes out without any reason. Always felt nervous and could see his face in front of me. I tried to resist but I couldn’t. Mothers knows best she said all what I felt is love. She told me it’s normal I must accept and no need to hide.
Our relationship last for 1 year and 9 months. I could say whether live or just in net we can face trials. At times I got disappointed on him. Especially when certain expectations didn’t met. Knowing myself super sensitive a simple issue turned me down. Luckily he exerted patience to understand me. He treated me as a young child. A time came he informed me to go
Last year November he came back. I almost cried I couldn’t explain my feelings. I never expected he’s there again. Upon saying “I’m sorry I cheated you I am already married before we met, honestly I wanted to cry but I told myself I must accept. He also asked despite of everything can we remained friends? I answered “YES” anyway life must go on..
People can’t escape sadness and bitterness.Within myself I said never to communicate with him. I even told that due to guilt he will not come again. But I was wrong. Until now whenever he’s free we communicate. This is one of my mission to reach out who needs help. To open their minds about God’s plan for us. To help strengthen my weaknesses.
It is also one way to test my patience and sympathy to other people. Another guy came in. He is always open about his life whether bad or good. I even got angry on him because I couldn’t withstand his attitudes. I said I must ignore and forget him. Yes I knew that something went wrong but remain silent knowing he’s engaged. I knew this part of life to test our dignity. To hold on what is right. To set as an example to them.
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